THE OLIVE TREE AND THE MERMAID
How a Costa Brava legend gave the world its juiciest olives
On a coastal path on the Costa Brava stood an ancient olive tree, its grey-green leaves quivering in the breeze, its roots anchored deep into the cliffside rocks. For centuries the tree had watched over the waves, and then one summer, it fell madly in love with a mermaid from Ibiza.
She was a bohemian beauty, with a beaded tail, and multicoloured feathers adorning her long, dark, flipper-length hair. Bored of the crowds of the Café del Mar and the maudlin applause for San Antonio’s famous sunsets, she had fled across the sea to the jagged Catalan coast. But her freedom came at a price: an evil, jealous Café del Mar DJ, livid over her escape, cursed her to sing the same track -“Across the Sea” - for all eternity.
Day after day, the olive tree listened to the mermaid’s song, and soon fell deeply in love. It began to lean towards the sea, mesmerized by the mermaid’s beautiful voice, until one day its angle and weight were such that they threatened to topple it right off the cliff. The family who owned the majestic house and gardens above – the distinguished De Cardonas – noticed the tree’s plight and lengthily debated the issue. Cut it down? Out of the question! In recent years the old tree had mysteriously begun producing the most exquisite olives in all of Spain, drawing connoisseurs from all over the world. Besides, the tree had witnessed centuries of history, surviving wars, the Inquisition, and General Franco’s rise and fall.
What could they do?
One morning, after breakfast, while brushing the powdered, sugary remains of his third ensaimada from his fabulous, twirling moustache, Ramón de Cardona had an idea. He did a quick sketch on a napkin and summoned his team of gardeners.
“Caballeros,” he proclaimed, waving his napkin excitedly. “We shall fit the olive tree with a peg leg!”
Three weeks later, the tree still leaned towards the sea, but now, supported by a sturdy wooden-and-steel brace fitted beneath a low-hanging branch, it no longer risked tumbling to its death.
Meanwhile, the mermaid continued to sing her song from the rocks with waves crashing all around her, the sea-spray clinging to her like the most fabulous designer dress.
One night, during a particularly wild storm, the tree tossed the mermaid oodles of fresh, juicy olives, which she immediately gobbled with glee. Imagine her surprise - not to mention her delight! - when she opened her mouth to sing again, and instead of the now mind-numbing “Across the Sea”, she found herself belting out Julio Iglesias’ massive Seventies hit, “Manuela”!
Ever since, grateful for her freedom to sing whatever her heart desires, the mermaid sings medleys of melodies with an unbridled joy that delights the olive tree. Year after year, its olives have grown bigger, juicier and increasingly delicious. Two years ago, to Don De Cardona’s delight, his family won first prize at the International Olive Championship. As for the ancient olive tree and the bohemian mermaid, they remain inseparable - bound by music, legend, olives, and the wild, crashing waves of the beautiful Costa Brava.
My poetry book, Illicit Croissants At Dawn, written between the Costa Brava and Switzerland, is available on Amazon
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