Hello,
Some of you may vaguely remember this one from early last year. I've tightened it up quite a bit, and it still makes me smile!
I'm trying to spend more time working on my novel, and so less poetically inclined, although who knows, since the poem pixies always arrive out of nowhere and demand my full attention. And of course, I ended up fiddling with this one for far longer than I expected!!
I hope this little story makes you chuckle! It’s inspired by something similar that happened to a friend of mine...
With love and gratitude,
Francesca xx
THE CASE OF THE MISSING MINI How to misplace a car, annoy two policemen, and still make it home in time for tea! Oh, flippin’eck! Oh no! Come on! I parked my car here; where’s it gone? I left it in a shady street, While I popped out for nice new sheets. Somewhat distraught - my car brand new, Such thieving sucked very beaucoup! I dashed into a cute boutique - Had someone maybe seen the creeps? A lady said, “I saw notheeng, But maybe give the police a reeng.” I called the cops, they sent two dudes - Starsky and Hutch but mega rude. “Madame,” they said, “with due respect, Your mind could be somewhat suspect. We’ve grown to be wary, you see, Of older ladies’ memory.” “Now please sit down and have a think. Maybe consider fifty winks?” Would you believe such pompous twits? I called Harry - he had a fit! My spouse arrived, screeched to a halt, And those cops fined him cinquante francs! “You should not speed, mon vieux,” they crowed, “Have you been drinking? Here you go.” With that, those two obnoxious dudes Had my poor man blow in a tube! A positive test - licence revoked! - Which clearly thrilled those nasty blokes. “You’ll have to drive your husband home,” Sir Starsky snarked in power pose. I felt my lunch crash through the floor - We’d be stuck here forevermore! Just then dear Harry intervened, “Mon chou,” he said, “let’s reconvene. Let’s take a stroll, deep breaths, relax Before they slap on further tax.” So off we went, we left them there, Ogling his Porsche with envious stares. And around the corner - not that far - What did we see? My little car! 🚗 I felt so daft, I could have cried. Instead, I spluttered one more lie. “Who moved my car? Who plays such tricks? Can you believe such callous gits?” Harry just laughed. “Now listen here - You can’t pull wool over my ears!” We shuffled back, I told those guys There’d been a boob, we’d found my ride. Hutch parked the Porsche in a tight space (Such a smug show-off that snot-face!). We pootled home, had cups of tea, And snuggled up in brand new sheets!
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